We did a list of these, mostly in jest, for Cervelli last year, so I thought it would be fun to make a list for Montero, now that he has joined the team. If I go to a game this year, I might make signs out of some of these (I'm a nerd, I know). Here's what I've got so far, I'll add good ones you guys post as well:
The Montero Facts:
1. Jesus once hit a bases-empty Grand Slam. Everyone agreed it was a miracle.
2. Jesus was once reprimanded by his coaching staff because he kept turning the Gatorade in the dugout into wine.
3. Jesus has never needed to go on the DL because no matter how severe the injury, he always rises again in 3 days.
4. Instead of Jesus bobble-head night, his minor league teams would have Jesus fishes and loaves night. They would save a ton of money on operating costs those nights.
5. There has never been a rain delay in a game Jesus played in because he will just tell the rain to cut it out.
6. One of his minor league teams was thinking about installing a moat behind their plate because it would stop the other team's catcher from catching popups, but Jesus could just walk over it.
7. Jesus' middle name is just the letter H.
8. A pitcher once denied Jesus' pitch selection three times. He felt ashamed and begged forgiveness afterwards.
9. Jesus always has to throw out the first pitch because he's the only one in the stadium who is without sin.
10. A coach was once bribed 30 pieces of silver by the opposing team to take Jesus out of a game. That coach is no longer with the organization.
11. John W. Henry once offered Montero the entire Red Sox team if he would just put on a Red Sox hat, but Montero said, "It is written, it is a Yankee hat alone that you must wear."
12. Jesus arrives to the ballpark every afternoon on the back of a donkey. His teammates lay down palm fronds in front of him as he enters.
13. They occasionally have him come in out of the pen in the 9th because Jesus saves.