The 2009 ALCS and 2004 ALCS are practically mirror images of each other.

Indistinguishable.

Talk about carbon copies! I haven't seen this level of uncanny similarity since watching Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes in White Men Can't Jump.

Yeah, that's about how alike these two series are.

If I have to read one more thinly veiled (or downright overt, even) suggestion that the 2009 ALCS is "2004 all over again," I may spoon out my eyeballs with my bare hands without skipping a beat.

I'm sorry, HOW exactly is this ANYTHING like 2004?

As much as it pains me to even think about that dark time in my life, I'm going to bite the bullet for the sake of putting an end to this ridiculous Y2K-like mass hysteria and unfounded panic.

Let's consider the elements that shaped the 2004 mess:

• The Greatest Rivalry in Sports
• Yankees took 3-0 lead
• Red Sox hadn't beat the Yankees since the dawn of time
• A-Rod's empty performance
• Red Sox were the favorite entering series
• Yankees pitching: Mike Mussina, Jon Lieber, Javier Vasquez, El Duque, Esteban Loaiza, Kevin Brown
• Yankees Big Bats: Miguel Cairo, Derek Jeter, Hideki Matsui, Gary Sheffield (all below .300)

And in 2009?

• Not the greatest rivalry, or even a rivalry at all
• Yankees went up 2-0. Then 2-1. Then 3-1. Then 3-2.
• Yankees haven't beaten the Angels since the dawn of time
• A-Rod's immortal-like production and clutchness
• Yankees were favorite entering series
• Yankees pitching: CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett, Andy Pettitte
• Yankees Big Bats: Derek Jeter, Robinson Cano, Mark Teixeira, Alex Rodriguez, Hideki Matsui

Not only is 2009 not that similar to 2004, but it's arguably the polar OPPOSITE of it. The Yankees aren't squandering away a swift 3-0 lead. The past 5 games have been back and forth, in terms of series record.

If this is considered to be a repeat of 2004, then I have to assume that anytime the Yankees lose a single game in the postseason, it's going to be linked to a Dave Roberts steal clip.

When the Angels lose tomorrow, I expect to read volumes of column inches asserting the blatant redux of the 1986 ALCS. Because, you know, they're practically one in the same. The Angels lost that one. They're going to lose this one. And apparently, that's about all the matching elements you need these days, to substantiate a cross-season comparison.

Next thing you know, they're gonna start telling me Papelbon and Mo are identical closers! Oh, wait...

Pay no attention to this 2004 drivel, Yankee fans. It's the hollow propaganda of haters everywhere.

And as George Bernard Shaw said, "Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated." 

-CYC